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21 Lessons From My Mom Life

Light Bulb with Little Purple Wildflower Growing Inside Isolated

Celebrating Post #100!!!!

I have random truths floating in my head most days… It’s mostly  things I keep working on/ telling myself/ self-talk about being a mom. While I can’t play the perfection card, I can play the “I’ve got this part” card. Although now that I’ve said that, I’ll have to remember at least 3 of these today.

The 100th post seems like a perfect way to get these into the world. It’s also 21 freebies that my clients hear all the time.

I hope something resonates.

But if you already know all of this, you obviously have more kids than me. Everybody has more kids than I do.

21 Lessons from My Mom Life

1) That I’m more right than I realize. The first gut instinct that I second guess? Don’t question it. Question the second guess. Only second guess using freezer burned meals.

2)I’m not missing the boat. Parenting is the boat. I don’t buy a ticket for a ride and then jump ship. I buy a ticket, realize it’s a high powered speed boat, raise my arms and yell “Waaaahooo!”

3) I probably am failing. When I feel I’m not doing enough/ the right thing/ what matters most, I’m probably not. I no longer freak out. I fix it. Must be all those anti-shame talks with my son about “It’s okay, just change something, no problem.” He’s so lucky.

4) Care and keep going anyway.  Others may or may not understand what I’m doing. But if I believe in it, have reasons, understand the options and the objections-  I (probably will) keep going. See #1

5) It’s always about love. The freeze frame for Jordan at 17 is pinkish blonde lavender hair with sunglasses. It’s a bit Matrix-esque. It’s about acceptance, creativity, and that you don’t get loved more or less because of your appearance. Okay, you may. But don’t love yourself more or less because of your appearance.

6) It’s probably about me. The things I make a big deal about are usually about me. No one has ever cared that dinner is at 6:30.  I grew up with a 4:45pm dinner time. 6:30 kills me. It’s about me.

7) I never regret staying home. It’s not been easy, or my first intellectual choice, but it was my heart/ soul/ love directive. Yes. I only have one kid.

8) Today totally impacts tomorrow. Looking back, my gut was right – hang in there, the teen years are coming. Those younger years set the stage for the older years. And these years are the best so far. See #1.

9) Connection sustains everything. Apparently, my favorite thing in the entirety of the world is connection- watching it, facilitating it, engaging in it. I understand the struggle, the utter craving of the soul to have it, and the times when it doesn’t happen. Oh. This applies to marriages, businesses, sales, and education.

10) My sanity matters. Knowing and living in my strengths and sanity changes home life. Every day.

11) Know when to hold ’em.  I cannot continue the #115 Wednesdays series right now, because the reality of the countdown of Jordan going to college is too large. I may at another date. Permission granted.

12) Lessons in front of me are the ones to learn. Being a mom is personal growth on steroids.  Most days I allow it to shape me. The ones I don’t, seem to repeat so I can have another shot. Omg.

13) Choose the offspring. If given the choice to write or listen to my son give an impromptu monologue about the world, faith, relationships and girls, I always always choose the latter.

14) Trust Sacrifice. In time, sacrifice has a funny way of transforming into the gold of connection, the silver of trust, and the diamonds of love. Trust it.

15) Identify the Keepers and the Laters. When I go for the things I most care about and let the rest go. Keepers: clean corners of the kitchen floor. Biscotti at Christmas. A chocolate stash. Laters: decluttering the closets, cleaning the garage, and pulling weeds. Thank God I’m writing this in February.

16) My son loves me. If I’m open to the blessings and surprises of how my son loves me, I’ll see it every single day. It may not be the way I expected but when I remove my agenda, I always see it.

17) Compliments change the soul.

18) Burn-Out Offers Gifts. When I feel burned out, it’s often because I have something to live up to, prove, or haven’t asked for help. It’s now a gift to me so I can step back and reconsider.

19) Respect the power of presence. Learning to be very available and listen when there is pain, hurt, anger changes more for my son than offering suggestions, telling what to do, or multitasking when he’s talking.

20) Genuine apologies awaken worth and value far beyond great gifts.

21) Solid hugs are a sign of forgiveness and reconnection. They cannot be requested or forced. They are offered.

Vikki , The Mom Whisperer, Mom Coach


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