We always have ideas about motherhood.
Mostly, that our family could be awesome most the time and everything after that means we’re failing. And should feel guilty. And should worry that they will not make their way in the world. And if we’re not guilty or worried, then we’ve missed something. Or some combination of all of the above, depending on the day, the weather and if there’s chocolate in the house or not.
In the spirit of putting things where they belong (beyond the laundry, groceries and mismatched socks), let’s consider a few things that Motherhood really means and what it does not.
What Motherhood Isn’t
Motherhood isn’t an attempt at perfection. For every day that we completely surprised ourselves, and took care of the bills, didn’t yell, and made dinner AND had leftovers for later in the week – is a counterbalanced day of insanity, stress, and where time feels like it’s on fast forward and we will miss our 11pm bedtime. Again.
Motherhood isn’t the place to prove how awesome we really are. One minute we’re being hugged and thanked and within 45 minutes, something has gone wrong and we are trying to either a) fix it, b) find it, or c) clean it. If we have teens, we are trying to not ask ourselves what we did wrong that they are still in their room. Most days we would say we are not awesome and can prove it by asking a family member at any given moment.
Motherhood isn’t raising an ideal child. We can’t mark our sacrifice by how our kids are in the world. Yes we influence, and yes we have responsibility to teach. But they have this really annoying freedom called “choices” and this other really uncontrollable factor called “nature” (who they are meant to be in the world). Basically, if we aren’t ideal people and have faults along with sparkling moments, they too will not be ideal people, have faults and sparkling moments.
One motherhood definition that I’ve come to bank on daily is that somewhere in the grand scheme of life, we pulled the card that said, motherhood is the willingness to learn love in a completely different way through change and growth. I am willing to be stretched in every way a human can be stretched, while learning to see myself and my child(ren) in a fluid and expanding way. If learning love through growth and resilience can redefine motherhood than we might define ourselves as Freaking. Awesome. No chocolate needed.
What’s your One Motherhood Definition that’s been helpful for you? Share below and help another momma out….