I’m infusing it into my mom cells.
Ten years or more of research that helps us move past shame and fear to dive into life as Wholehearted and courageous.
In short: Getting over shame and guilt changes EVERYTHING.
(Mini recap: Guilt – feeling bad for what we did – or didn’t do. Shame – feeling bad for who we ARE. Think: “not enough”. I know, air just sucked out of the room, right?)
Here’s the Daring Greatly bite worth chewing on:
“Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.
It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to
…go to bed at night thinking,
Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.”
— Dr. Brene Brown. Daring Greatly, pg. 10. Gotham Books: 2012.
What’s the bedtime story you tell your kids at night? If no story, or they’re too old, what do you try to convey before they drift off? You are loved. You are enough. I treasure you because you are you. == worth in a nightlight.
What’s the bedtime story we tell ourselves? What do we convey to ourselves before we drift off? Maybe: Crap. I forgot to… I didn’t… I need to… I’m an idiot for saying/thinking/doing that….okay, 2 things I’m grateful for…. thank you God, Amen. == shame.
Want to play?
Make up a new evening bedtime story. Here’s a start:
Crap, no! I forgot to…. but I will….and I am such a gift here.
I didn’t ….but I can, no sweat. I am worthy.
I said/ thought/ did….. but it doesn’t define me. I will (apologize, change thoughts, act differently) because that is who I am – well deserving of being loved and extending love.
Dr. Brown goes on to discuss shame resilience and for this, it is the price of the book.
Because we can NOT give to our kids what we have not integrated into our own lives when it comes to love, emotions, stability, etc.. We can’t offer it freely. When it comes to shame and guilt, we can’t even fake it.
In essence, one of the things this book is saying is, if we could raise a generation of kids who minimally have to deal with shame and guilt, we would see the world explode with courage, connection, intimacy, and vulnerability that unleashes creativity and success in every field across the board.
But then again, I’m just a mom. What do I know? 😉