Most parenting articles that address the crap of being a mom don’t apply to us. WE aren’t the controlling, crazy or competitive mom. But we send it to our friends who , you know, might need a little help. 😉
Nobody likes THOSE moms – so that’s not us. They push people away, don’t have tons of friends, and just, well… ew.
As a disclaimer, let me say this in the very beginning. If you continue reading this and find out you are a competitive mom, so what? If you check yes to every single thing in the quiz below, you, my friend have just stepped over the line from competitive to empowered mom. You can’t change what you can’t face and today, we’re going to face it together.
I was a competitive mom to some degree. I say to some degree because I saw the whole spectrum of uber- competitive moms all the way to moms who could care less about what others did. For a few years, I was squarely in the middle. I’ll go into more of how I stopped competing in the blog article – here.
If a friend found a toy on sale, I went to Goodwill to find that toy at a CHEAPER price. If someone found food on sale, I would buy MORE of it. Whatever the holy grail was, then I would be the FIRST to find it – sales, deals, summer camps, the best new recipe, etc. Yeah, not one of my prouder seasons of life….
If another mom was competitive, we were not close friends. If another mom wasn’t, then she could sit back and enjoy the fruits of all my energy competing with others. 😉
Admittedly, some of this was just because I needed mom ideas for what to do with a child. But here are identifiers to help you figure out if you are a competitive mom and didn’t even realize it. Just give yourself a point a piece.
The Competitive Mom Quiz
1-When someone tells you their shopping score, or their vacation plans or killer interaction with their kid, you immediately get the idea that you need to do that as well. (3 points if you do. 5 points if you actually come back to tell them how great it was.)
2- Seeing something someone has, you want that only better. (3 points if you go out to get it within 3 days.)
3- When a friend tells you a good thing that happened to them, you don’t stop to celebrate, you tell them your good thing too (and if you find a “better” good thing to tell, then give yourself 3 points.)
4- You never tell your good thing/ idea/ sale/parenting tip, first. You wait to hear theirs and then find a way to also have or do that thing. (3 points if you do it better.)
5- You tell others that your purchase, or parenting trumped someone else Actually, this is 3 points. Hey, it happens.
Under 3 – You’re good.
1-5 – You’re in the competitive category and with a few tweaks, you can overcome this fairly easily.
6 and above – Your friendships, decisions and relationship are being affected by competition more than you realize. You can truly address it because now you know! Get started with this blog post — here.
Now that you know, I promise you’ll start catching yourself almost effortlessly and will start to realize where you need to change. Go here for more help in making strong strides forward.
You’ve Got This.
Vikki Spencer, Mom Coach