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Self-Help for the Tired Mom

Loneliness negative emotion concept. Young sad stressed woman lying on couch at home

You’re a tired mom exhausted mom. Now what?

You want 5 steps to not feeling tired and instead being coherent, slightly organized mom – and that takes a little energy and a few brain cells.

 A 5 Point Plan to Recovering a Tired Mom:

  1. Figure out why you’re tired – really pinpoint it. Check this blog post for 15 reasons. Choose 3-5 reasons.

  2. When you’ve figured it out, figure out best case scenario – what you most want. I mean, what’s your miracle look like. Ex: I’m tired every single day because I’m getting sick AGAIN. What I most want is to be super healthy year round.

  3. Reverse engineer your miracle. What would it take for your best case scenario to happen? What might a tweak of the day – every single day- look like?

  4. Talk to family members and let them know there are going to be tweaks. “Listen. I’m tired every single day and the way we do family wears me out. I feel I’m getting sick again and remember the last time I got sick? You guys had to do everything. So, here are a few things I need so I can have a miracle.”

  5. Trust yourself. Trust your body’s wisdom telling you you’re doing too much. Or your anger (justified completely) that begs for change and to be heard. Or your need for an earlier bedtime. Or whatever it is because if we have a mother’s intuition for everyone else, then we have it for ourselves.

And it’s never wrong.

But you’re not going to do any one of the five steps, are you? You might think “Huh. That was interesting” and keep on being tired mom because it’s easier to walk exhausted and stay in the familiar than take a risk and make change – even when it’s incredibly possible that we engage in making miracles in our life.

Here’s really why we’re tired.

We aren’t clear on what our problem really is. We think it’s the routine, the kids, the spouse, the ex, the boss and if THEY would just xyz we would be cured.

And it keeps us in a position of weakness. Everyone gets a final say over our lives. But we don’t have to live that way.

Here’s a position of power.

I need help. I don’t know if I deserve it or not, but I’m going to pretend I need something to give, to shift, to change. I need a life. I need health.

This is the beginning of self-compassion.

It’s one of the strategies I give to clients – to listen to and read everything Kristen Neff has on self-compassion (precursor to Brene Brown’s work) and work from there.

Start believing we deserve the words we offer to the kids… come talk to me, let me know what you need.

Start listening and moving mountains when we hear an answer … I need sleep. I need great food. I need to stop being the only one that walks the dog/ changes the litterbox.

I’m sure you’ve seen this video, but if you doubt that you deserve a basic need to help you bounce back from tiredness/ exhaustion, watch this:

(this tears me up every single time because I think of all the moms I know personally who can’t understand why they’re tired, compare themselves to everyone else, or wonder how they’re supposed to ever ask for a 30 minutes off, let alone an evening to themselves.)

Take some time and be clear on what you really want need.

Then take some steps toward miracles.

If you never hear this anywhere else, know this.

You have already more than “deserved”, or “earned” it.

Yes, you.



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